Some days in life I like the feeling of being coddled like a younger sibling. As an eldest, any opportunity for this comes from someone outside of my family. Usually it comes from my friends. Almost all of my friends are older than me, by various degrees. I’ve got a group of people from college, people from church, and people from work, all of which are able to provide me their unique perspective on the world.
When I first arrived at college, I went from being the oldest in the group of people I spent time with, to being the youngest. From being a high school senior among a few dozen home schooled kids, some even a decade younger, to being a young freshman in an unfamiliar environment. I suddenly made a lot of friends, where I was used to having a small set of people I would interact with, who I had known for years. My bubble got a lot bigger and filled with people whose advice was valuable. Even though there were annoyances in my dorm experience, I truly felt adopted by many of the people I met in my first weeks of school.
While a lot of those friendships were formed by convenience, or forced community, I treasured the experience of being mentored and listened to by people who could have just as easily chosen to ignore me. I garnered a whole host of big brothers and sisters, whose life experiences I could use to gain some perspective outside of the insulated world I grew up in.
I loved that feeling. The sense of value from people’s willingness to give me their time and attention. I don’t presume that they all perceived me as their little sister, but in a lot of ways I felt treated that way: treasured and nurtured. It didn’t matter if I felt clueless or confused when there were so many people around to help me grow.
Many of the people who filled that role for me when I first reached college have passed out of my life. While a few of them disappeared from my life gradually, as I spent more time with certain friends, others grew distant themselves, or left the college altogether. I am glad to have met them, and experienced their comradery and kinship.
I still run into this feeling with most of the people I spend time with. I’m a very team oriented person. Always saw my own sisters as equals, and family unity is important to me. I care about the people around me in the same way. I value my team mates and friends as members of an extended family, uncles, aunts, cousins, siblings.
I’ve mentally adopted all these relations as part of my emotional investment in their lives, as part of the exchange where they have invested in me. I want to value the incredible people around me, and spend as much of my attention learning from them while they are a part of my life. I want to learn skills from them to be a good listener and mentor myself.
There are still so many people around me who I can spend time listening to and investing in, more of my own “little sisters”. Although my own sisters, who are my first and very dearest friends, can never be replaced. I like to think of it like my sister-in-laws do, they have adopted me as just another member of the family.
I love being everybody’s sister, it gives me a good perspective on how to interact with others, valuing them and treating them with respect.